Tips for Overcoming the Maid of Honor Speech Butterflies
As the maid of honor, one of your myriad responsibilities is to give a speech at the reception. This is a speech which leads up to a toast, and seems, on the surface, to be something that shouldn't be difficult at all - except for the fact that you probably don't like public speaking. Actually, studies show that most people actively dislike public speaking, and so you're no exception. What makes this worse is that the wedding toasts are so profoundly important to your friends and their families, and so much has gone into the wedding day that you are probably terrified of making a mistake.
Well, you certainly aren't alone. Here are a few tips for calming your nerves before your big moment in the spotlight. Some of these tips will work better for some people than others, but just try them and see how they work for you.
First, the most important thing to remember to stave off the jitters is that preparation is key. Preparing your speech and practicing are the most important elements of preparation. Write drafts of your speech and read them aloud. Hearing your own voice projecting into a room will make you more comfortable when it happens on the big day. When you're confident that you know the speech inside and out - read it again! You can never practice too much, and it will only help with your delivery, and your confidence. The more confidence you have, the easier it will be for you to concentrate on elements of your delivery, like eye contact and voice projection. These things will make you look confident, and if you look confident, people will react positively. This is a good thing!
A great way to prepare and practice is to take notes. Reading your speech from a script isn't recommended, but putting notes and points of interest on notecards will let you make eye contact with your audience while still maintaining confidence in the text of the speech. Also, if you have a chance to get into the room where the speech will be made before the actual event, practice once or twice there just to see how it will feel, and how it will sound. This is a technique many public speakers use to practice.
On the big day, it might be tempting to use alcohol to relieve some of your stress. This isn't recommended. A glass of champagne to steady the nerves is alright, but in the face of real anxiety, it's just too easy for that one glass to turn into three, and there's no going back once you're over the limit. So try to limit your drinking to a single glass, or even a non-alcoholic beverage. With this said, obviously try to avoid coffee or tea. Caffeine will only make your jitters worse.
A good technique to use before the speech is "positive visualization." Think about yourself giving an amazing speech to a standing ovation. This technique is proven to be very effective, and will significantly calm your nerves.
Next, take a few breaths. Slow, deep breathing will slow your heart rate and relieve a lot of nervous tension. When you're at the podium, or behind the microphone, a time-tested (though strange) technique for relieving your nerves, is to imagine your audience in their underwear. The theory behind this is that it gives you a sense of superiority and confidence. If it works for you - use it!
While it's important to make "eye contact" with your audience, if looking directly into their eyes makes you more nervous, try looking just over their heads at the back of the room. A sweeping gaze - from left to right - will give the illusion that you're looking into everyone's eyes, and truly engaging the audience.
It's a good idea to take a drink before you begin, and keep a glass of water nearby as you speak. Pause to drink if your mouth gets a little dry - this is a common symptom of nervousness. And speaking of pausing, don't be afraid to pause to gather your spots, remember your place, or for the sake of timing. Your audience won't think it's strange, and even though it may feel like an eternity to you, it will really only be a few seconds. Breathe slowly, reciting the words of your speech slowly and deliberately. Breathing calmly will help you to maintain a steady pace throughout the speech.
It's most important to never let your anxiety take over. With a lot of practice and some tried-and-true public speaking techniques, you can relieve much of your anxiety and conquer the butterflies in your stomach. There's no reason to let nervousness get in the way of a great day of celebration with your friends and family.
Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Resources | Speech Guides | Sitemap |
