Helpful Advice For The Father Of The Bride

Overcoming Wedding Speech Nerves:

Few people truly enjoy standing in front of a room full of people and delivering a speech. In fact, statistics show that more people are afraid of public speaking than are afraid of death! It's no wonder that you're a little uncomfortable thinking about giving a speech at your daughters wedding. But as the Father of the bride you have a duty to your daughter to put in the effort and overcome your fears.

But how to prepare? And how do you get past the anxiety and let everyone present know just how proud you are of your daughter?

Well, the first step in eliminating nerves is preparation. Prepare a list of everything you want to include in your speech, prepare your father of the bride speech, and once you have it together, practice, practice, practice. First, gather the content. Look at a few example speeches, or tips about what to say in your speech. When you look at the things other people have said, your bound to have a creative spark of genius, and the memories will come flooding in. Once you have a list of what to say about your daughter, add your own personality to the speech.

Take notes - Write your speech in pieces on notecards. One important thing to remember, however, is that you shouldn't read your speech word-for-word, so you will have to practice it enough that it is nearly memorized. Then use the notecards to remind you of what to say next, but don't read from them. This process of cues and memorization will let you be more relaxed in front of people and will allow your speech to flow more easily. Remember that the point of this exercise is to prepare you and to ease your anxiety.

Practice aloud. You will have to do this many, many times, at least until the speech is partially memorized, and preferably until you are very comfortable saying it. This practice will really reduce your stress.

On the "big day," you will find yourself prepared to give the speech itself, but what else can you do to alleviate some of the anxiety? Well, even though it may be tempting, avoid excess alcohol. Alcohol to calm the nerves is one thing, but too often the father of the bride finds himself slurring words in front of a crowd of well-wishers. You may not care at the time, but just wait until the morning after.

So instead of alcohol, let's try a few other tricks to put your mind at ease.

First, act confident. If you stand at the podium, looking out over your audience, and act confident, chances are you'll feel confident. This is an important element of public speaking, and a great way to start your speech on a good footing - speaking of which, make sure that your weight is evenly disbursed on your two feet, and your hands are either on your notecards or on the podium. Never put your hand in your pockets while you're speaking!

Have a glass of water available at the podium. You should sip a little before speaking, and pause to drink if your mouth gets dry because of nerves. This is an acceptable reason to pause, and your audience won't mind at all.

Next, breathe slowly. Read the words carefully and take your time. This calm breathing will keep you on a steady pace throughout the speech, with little more to do than act confident and recite the speech you practiced so hard to get right.

And don't be afraid to pause to gather your thoughts. It's a commonly understood illusion of time in public speaking that while you might think that a pause goes on for a long, long time, it's really only a few seconds and audiences hardly notice it. This pause is very important to keeping your cool and to limiting anxiety while you're at the podium.

Making eye contact will go a long way toward reassuring your audience that you are a competent public speaker. When your audience is assured, you will feel assured, and the speech will go smoothly. Staring down at the notecards will make you look insecure and unsure, and you'll feel that way, too.

Finally, be sure that you engage your audience with eye contact, smiles, acknowledgement, and even a joke or two (though never be funny only for the sake of being funny). Speaking to your audience rather than at them is a great way to lighten the mood and feel more comfortable at the podium.

So never let your anxiety take over. A little practice, and some conscientious public speaking techniques should easily belay your anxiety and let you enjoy what should be a day of celebration and fun.